i've been really really troubled of late that's why i've decided to come back to post on this blog of mine, which i wouldn't have returned to if not for the things that i have done recently.

for integrity and for what's right,
i gave up my friends.
or would i say, i gave up people who i thought were my friends.
somehow i even wonder if they ever took me as a friend of theirs.
if they ever took me as a friend of theirs,
they would have understood what i did.
it's not fair to the other party.
i really don't understand why they would push the blame to me,
and say that if i hadn't ratted on them they wouldn't be in this predicament.

but honestly, what i feel is that if they had listened to me from the start and not taken it,
this would nver have a chance to surface.
and they would not have been in this situation.
honestly, i am afraid.
afraid of what other people feel of me.
a traitor, a spineless fool, or probably just a foolhardy fellow.
i really need support at a time like this,
somebody who can tell me,
'don't be afraid, you did the right thing, and i feel proud to have a friend like you.'

kester showed me who my real friends are,
and what real friends should do, and how they should be.
I'm really thankful for that, and i really hope for more friends like him.
but it's him, and only him who is able to make such an impact in my life,
which makes it ironically so, very unique,
and that is why i have learnt to appreciate him so very much :)

why don't some people ever reflect and feel ashamed of their actions?
but just blame everything on other people at the first chance they have?