Excerpts from my diary for the week

April 12th 2011, Tuesday

Bene wanted to get me out of LGFC, but I guess I've settled it already. I really don't like people doing stuff behind my back. And I'm seriously getting irritated by Clarence, constantly kissing up to vincent. he needs to learn when to shut up, and grow a fucking spine for himself. seriously needs to be bitch slapped.

Stephanie messaged me today on FB. It seems that i have seriously grown to dislike her. I really couldn't stand the fact that she has had so many relationships with other people. and i can't bear the truth that i am only such a small person in her life. i really wish she would get the fuck out of my life, and stop contacting me. its just so stupid. maybe i just haven't got over her yet.

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"Now for many years later, I miss your Grandmother. I so wanted her with me when i traveled to Washington to witness your birth. and I have wanted her with me every time I've driven home from your house by myself. I've wanted to share the joy with the only person who could really appreciate it. And I am happy about that.

Missing feels like a sad spot in my heart. It feels so much better when i was angry with her, or worse, when i didn't let myself feel anything about her. Missing means I love her."

--Letters to Sam, 'Your Grandmother Sandy'